Location: Moustache City, USA

Aliases: Matrick, Abe Froman - Sausage King of Chicago, Firmburger

MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/firmburger

Training:

• 14 months intensive training with Yani in the foothills of the small country of Latvia, studying pan flutes and moustache technique.
• 2 months training with Hulk Hogan studying 'staying tough'.

Acomplishments:

• Mastered the 'public moustache orgasm'. Looks strangely similar to a wiggle of the moustache, but when administered in a bar, library, or church... every woman in the room colapses from piercing, overwhelming pleasure.
• Born with a moustache.
• Wrote 'Dirty Lip' the dance hit from the Moustache March 2006 album.

Other info:

• Banned from 11 States for 'excesive use of the moustache'.
• My moustache wrote an entire album on it's own entitled "Get Me A F*ing Beer. Now."